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    What is MUNI Haiku?

    MUNI is the San Francisco Municipal Railway. MUNI Haiku celebrates and shakes a fist at all that is good, bad and curious about SF public transit.

    The world-famous and locally-reviled fleet is made up of gas buses, electric buses, connector buses, historic streetcars, lightrail trains and the iconic cable cars. It's complemented in some parts of town by BART, the subway that connects SF to its outskirts.The creator of this site absolutely worships the Italian orange F Markets.

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    295bus a.k. A.K.Lewis ac AEC afinch AJ alunumum a muni-lover in oakland arthurshotwell Arwyn Moore A tourist from Perth Australia baldmale Barna M. blocuse blondie bobboman Brian bsoongrl Buena Vista Park C&K Camper English canihasit Cathy Power Steen caveman cdg cedichou CF CHER-L Chico Chris Samperisi ctc damo denominator Didier Laget Diego Ruiz dtd DW e. hall E.K.L. E.K.L.'s #1 Fan ELF EP Ethan evap Extra Spicy Farshad FCM flamk flossofur gabbyn gargamel13 Heather S. Helen B. Ian C. James M. Jarrod Javier Ruiz jayson jaynes jb JC JDB jgoldfoot jgreely JILL Jim Gates JK JLS Jordan Josh June k. shanley Kara Karen katie doze katie k. kensmith415 kerbot2000 Kimballi klavin kostrem L.A.K. laura laurelk Laurie M. Lilli Ann lisa ko litmus lkarr loveofhades LP MAP Mary Salome Matt Foley matthue Matthue Roth Max mdd MEFA Megan Anderson mergy mhayes Michael Hopkins Mike miniver mjfogel Natasha Nathan C. Nazar Y. N Buddha nextian nica Nick Aster Nick Flip noah not Aaron nwillumsen oneragingstar paul brown Pavani pete PieMan pinkstinky piwackett poeticpolitics Pretty Damn Good prl prose38 RCinSF reginaldjames rh Rick Dias rowenoftc rtkim S.M. Williams Sarah Dopp Sara W. schliess SDH seamus sfgarth sheepofdoom sjohnson spinnerty SST Steve suki sunshinelion taelur tali m Tara of munidiaries.com Torr transbay Turquoise Shadow vmg Walter K. War S wendy whir yayareashirtz Zac ~E

    She boards through back door.
    Driver: “Get off now.” Woman:
    “Bullshit! I’m busy!”

    45 Union/Stockton [+]

    It’s dark and rainy
    And I’m on the forty-five.
    Please pass the Draino.

    I’d like to think that
    The drivers were nice people
    At some point in time.

    Beads of sweat, dripping.
    Gripping two canes in one hand.
    No one gives their seat.

    A peaceful journey.
    Kind of jarring, actually.
    Where are the crazies?
    — E.K.L.

    cough! cough! hack! hack! cough!
    *an organ flies out her mouth*
    *lands on floor* *twitches*

    “He told you to move
    Back, but you didn’t move back.”
    “Get some sleep, old dude.”


    “Are you waiting here,
    Or are you leaving right now?”


    There are bugs in that
    Woman’s hair. And some li’l guys
    Just hopped onto me.


    X times Y equals
    Muni, where X is “Body”
    And Y is “Odor.”

    An experiment
    In what happens when no one
    Has showered for days.

    I’m no math whiz, but
    I can see that the driver
    Shorted my transfer.


    Show me a J-Church
    That’s on time, and I’ll show you
    A talking beansprout.

    You slither throughout
    This great city, doing no
    Good for anyone.


    Muni is like poo.
    It comes out of a tunnel
    And, boy, does it smell!
    — E.K.L., dedicated to A.K. Lewis


    E.K.L. is back
    And she’s here to say, “Muni
    Needs to go away!”
    –E.K.L., evidently


    King Lear would have gouged
    His eyes out sooner if he’d
    Taken the J-Church.

    See that man’s flesh wound?
    He’s like a human geyser!
    Think I’ll buy a car.
    — E.K.L.


    It’s time to vomit.
    Luckily, there’s an empty
    Seat right next to me.

    I’m going to bottle
    This stench and call it “Eau de
    Clean This Goddamn Bus.”
    — E.K.L.

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